Ted Tripp is in my Head

Recently several young couples in our church went through half of the video series on Shepherding a Child’s Heart. It was convicting and encouraging then, but more convicting today. He often taught about listening to our children. He encourages parents to ask questions and find out what the deeper issues are rather than provoking our children to wrath on the surface issues that really aren’t the problem.

I had gotten on one of our children today about a tardy note. I wanted her to understand this was not acceptable (we have been working with our children about not piddling). The tardy happened because she wanted to get a notebook out of the school vending machine, had trouble with the machine, and was then late. I was ready to set the course straight, “you should not be tardy!” The discussion caused her to get more upset than I thought it would. Next I saw a very sad face had been quickly drawn on the first page of the new notebook. The issue then moved on to not pouting. Nothing was going to get by me today! During the course of lunch we began to discuss the notebook and why she had all of her friends sign in it. Turns out Dad and Mom had failed to purchase a yearbook, and this week was yearbook week and all her friends had received theirs and were signing each others. Now the tears really poured down, this was the real issue.

We never thought twice about the reason we had been asked for 4 quarters for a notebook the morning before. I spoke too quickly and made a special notebook a mark of shame. The real issue had gotten completely by me and was nearly missed. I was reminded again of how important it is to make sure we are daily connecting to our children. To make sure we are asking questions and then listening, so that we are dealing with the real issues.