Lonely In Amercia

A recent article suggests that Americans have fewer close friends in their lives than we did 20 years ago

Nearly a quarter of people surveyed said they had “zero” close friends with whom to discuss personal matters. More than 50 percent named two or fewer confidants, most often immediate family members, the researchers said.

What are the causes? The article suggests busy lifestyles as one reason, but implies something else that may be partially to blame.

“It’s one thing to know someone and exchange e-mails with them. It’s another thing to say, ‘Will you give me a ride out of town with all of my possessions and pets? And can I stay with you for a couple or three months?” Smith-Lovin said.

There is a false sense of friendship that Xanga, Blog, My Space, E-Mail, etc. can give. We are connecting in cyberspace, but are we connecting with people in person? Some have said that because of email, letter writing is a lost art form. Will the same be able to be said about relationship in the near future?

With technology comes new dilemmas. It is great to stay in touch with others and keep up via websites and cell phones, but is it also costing some real relationships? I am often amazed that I can find out personal news, announcements, burdens and concerns of people I do not know before anyone close to them even knows it is going on. And once we have expressed these things on our blogs, there can be a temptation to say, “I got that off my chest” and never tell anyone in person about it. Sometimes strangers see and hear about life events before close family and friends. We have a false feeling of closeness with people we never see or spend time with.
What does this do to the church? It can create cyber-clicks. If you don’t read about it on the net, you will never know. It can tear down meaningful communication and reliance upon one another. It is much easier to have someone that cannot be near you bear your burdens, but is it the most helpful? We can feel we have communicated, because we typed it on the web, but never really open up with one another. Do we really want surfers to know us more than the body of Christ? Maybe this is a reminder to shut off the computer and call someone up for lunch, or to not type your next post and go home and talk it over with family first, or to be more concerned about the lady at the checkout lane that you see every week than the xanga site of the person you have never met or never see.